Trying to save your marriage after an affair may be daunting. What you may want to do is more important than anything else, but even the most optimistic and loyal people will have doubts. Even if things are over, it is difficult to restore trust and believe that your spouse is very willing to be with you and will not cheat again. This is true even if your spouse seems to be completely in this matter and another person. But what happens if he doesn't? What if you can see your face and know that he is unhappy because he misses her? What happens if he is committed to saving your marriage, even though he still has deep feelings for another person?
You may hear something like this: "When I found out about my husband, I immediately told him that if he had the chance to be with me, he would need to agree to consult." He said he would do everything he could. I admit that he has been working hard, but we are not very happy. And I can say that this is very sad for him. There is often a desire in his face. Obviously, he has a strong affection for her. I think this makes me feel the most pain. When I was consulting a few days ago, I admitted to the counselor that I was worried that my husband still had a strong feeling for this. The consultant directly asked my husband if this is true. My husband was flustered and vowed that there was no connection between them. The counselor told him that this was not the question she asked him. She repeated her question, whether he still has strong feelings for another woman. Finally, he sighed and said, you can't just turn around and feel wrong, yes, he guessed he still has feelings, but he has no intention of taking action against them. I know this deep inside, but it still makes me feel depressed. What should I do with this information? I only know that my husband only saves his family with me, and he still has feelings for others? "
Why is perspective not always immediate? from
: I am sorry that you are dealing with this, I know the pain you are dealing with. But I want to tell you something that might make you feel better. I interviewed a lot of men who provided business for my article, just because of my own curiosity. If you ask after these questions [sufficient time passes] whether these people feel the true love of another person, then they will almost never answer yes. However, some of them will tell you that they think they like each other. "It may take a while for them to reach where they can know what they think is actually not love. But once they do, many of them are very embarrassed about their "feelings". In fact, one thing is Fantasy. In this matter, no one is worried about childcare, housework or elderly parents. No one is washing clothes or dealing with discerning children. But one thing is certain - fantasy becomes reality. Statistics show Even if the best relationship changes from fantasy to reality in two years, that is when deep and meaningful love comes into play. I am talking about the invulnerable love between two people who face the ups and downs of life. An affair can't and can't be. In fact, in most cases, once reality begins to appear [which usually happens after 2 years], then things will lose their brilliance.
Thinking about how to play it from
: Since your husband has ended his affair, this cycle or process does not happen naturally, because he decided to end it before that. This may be one reason why he still believes he has strong feelings. I know this is harmful and frustrating, but I'm not sure what is more effective than setting aside time to play its magic. If you try to tell him that he has no or no feelings, he may be ashamed, defensive or guilty - these are negative emotions that may make him more retreat.
I certainly think that honestly saying this will hurt you is not harmful, but if you maintain a tone of truth and eliminate emotions, it will help to eliminate his "feeling" emotions. Do not feed the fire. As long as you tell yourself in your own heart, he has not seen the reality yet and continues to work with your consultant to achieve his own progress. Everyone has their own path and rhythm, but as the healing begins, many men are beginning to realize how stupid and delusional they are. It is at this point that many people will admit to you that their feelings are mirages, and they will apologize for letting you pass a very obsessive fascination. Unfortunately, you have not arrived at this place because there is not enough time or treatment has taken place in your husband's perspective. I know it's hard not to react to it, but there may be enough negative emotions and not more. Sometimes you just have to wait for the verification you deserve. I know that a leap of faith is needed to know that one day he will see reality, but according to my experience, most people will do this. When is the problem? Once they leave their fantasy world and begin to gain some objectivity, their pictures will become clearer.
Orignal From: Although my spouse claims that he wants our marriage, he admits that he still has his extramarital affairs.
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