Many people are facing the idea of a marriage separation trial. Many of them do not want to be separated or very reluctant. However, unfortunately, they reluctantly met their spouse, who was convinced that separation might actually benefit or help their marriage. Understandably, many spouses are reluctant to believe this and worry about their spouse's ulterior motives. For example, a wife might say, "My husband has been talking about the trial separation for about four months. Last weekend, he actually saw the apartment. I started to realize that this actually happened. I was worried that we would eventually get divorced. But when I brought these concerns to my husband, he behaved as if it would actually help our marriage. He described the whole thing as just, "slow down to attract our breath and strengthen our marriage." . "Frankly, I think it might all be pretending. Sometimes I think he just wants me to agree to separate, so he can eventually divorce me. Or at least he can try to be single to determine if he really wants a divorce. I want to give him the benefit of trying to believe what he said, but it is very difficult. Is his argument valuable? Can trial separation actually help or enhance your marriage?"
I believe that they can sometimes help when appropriate. I did see some marriages helped during the experimental separation, but I saw that many marriages were hurt by separation [or even ended]. I did notice the trend in both groups. So, below, I will discuss some of the commonalities of couples, whose marriage is actually helped by separation.
It helps you make plansfrom
: There is no doubt that I believe that the most harmed marriages separated by trials are those that make decisions when they are in a hurry and emotional peaks. This happens when a huge battle takes place or things have deteriorated until one or two people just raise their hands and leave for a while. Although this is understandable, it can also be harmful. Generally, these people do not have any plans. They just want to take a break.
The problem is that without a plan, marriage and/or reconciliation is just a struggle. Both can wait for the other person to take the first step or take the initiative, and then things get embarrassed. So after a while, the couple not only did not get along, but they were difficult to communicate, so the marriage problem would only get worse.
If you can't avoid separation, then let it work for you. There is a very detailed and methodical plan. Look for a counselor and make an appointment in advance. Don't miss any chances. It is important to meet regularly to consult, which will help to avoid many unplanned couples getting into trouble.
It helps people commit to making good faith effortsfrom
It's always a little disturbing when people leave their marriage to separate and show that they will "see" or "measure" their feelings during this time. In some cases, they actually end up missing their spouse, so things can benefit their marriage. But in other cases, they are just separated. In my observations, when two people can say, "Listen, we really want to get married, so we will gather together this common goal regularly, the experimental separation is most effective. But now, we just take a break. "When you look at it from this perspective, you have reached an agreement and you will work together to keep your family intact. When you make this commitment, it drives the actions you take and the actions you take during the separation process to get better results.
It helps to agree to regular inspections and efforts to improvefrom
: Following the above, when you are all committed to improving marriage, the natural development of this situation is to regularly check each other and honestly discuss what is already working and what is not working. This allows you to stop anything that worsens your marriage and continue [and hopefully increase] what actually improves. It's very helpful to talk about this publicly, because you find that useful [and what you think is useful] may be very different from your husband's. You can take any action to put these things on the desktop and be honest with them, which makes it more likely to achieve a successful settlement.
Couples learning from separation can have a stronger marriagefrom
When I heard that the couple told me that their marital status was better after separation, most people admitted that separation made them more aware of their spouse. When they are alone, they often realize that they think their spouses are taken for granted, or that their spouse's existence actually gives them much comfort. These insights can increase the sense of intimacy and let us feel "we are against the world", which can actually enhance your marriage. Because you don't want to separate, you are more likely to solve the second problem they appear and it's hard to make your marriage work.
In order to answer the original question, there is intention, separation can improve some marriages. If you participate in the program, promise to communicate and sign in on a regular basis, and commit to making great efforts for clear improvements, then you have a greater chance. However, if you just "wait and see" what happens, don't communicate often or try to improve things, then sometimes separation actually makes marriage worse and leads to divorce.
Orignal From: Can trial separation really help you get married?
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