When people see gold rings with heart-shaped patterns on their left fingers, people often ask if I am married. I smiled and said "No, I am engaged", or if I really don't like the details, I just said, "Yes." I even let people tell me that it looks like a wedding ring because it is gold and I don't have "rock". There is a reason why I don't have "rock" and the ring is pure 24 carat gold [I will never let the band bend and deform].
I am engaged to a man from India, where the gold is highly regarded and considered the best material for traditional wedding jewellery. The ring is a gift from my fiancé's mother, and in a cultural and symbolic sense she accepts me as the future wife of her son. For a man, not every day, an American woman is taken home and introduced to her future wife.
Of course, when I mentioned that we are in a long-distance relationship, I will receive the slot of the problem. The most popular one is: "How did you meet?" "It must be difficult. How do you deal with it? When are you? Married? Why didn't he move here?
That's why I tend to avoid revealing the details of my relationship to the people I just met, especially those who ask these types of questions. Obviously, they may not have enough openness to try to master the details and efforts needed for long distance relationships. Ladies, this is how I deal with these issues.
How did you meet?
In the modern world, more and more couples meet online through social media sites and even apps. Lovers meet on Facebook, Instagram and even Twitter. My fiancé happened to find my email on a website related to finding a job in Japan, so I think it's best to answer "He is my pen pal". This is true except for our exchange of emails and handwritten letters. Honesty is the best policy of this measure, and if the person making the request cannot understand how you relate to the relationship between online and access, it is their problem.
Or maybe you have encountered it when you study or work abroad, even on vacation, and have to return to your home country. No matter what your situation, there is no reason to hide the truth.
That must be difficult. How do you deal with it?
"We chose to deal with it. I think my fiancé is worth waiting until everything is in place. We can see each other every day. We communicate every day and arrange visits as much as possible." When I feel ironic, sometimes I want to answer Long-distance relationships are not for the weak or those in need. When you don't see the other party and the unknown expected events and schedules that the relationship may take, you need a strong mood to spend the time.
when are you getting married?
This is my favorite because I really don't know. Have you heard of immigration law? Or maybe we are not ready for a date yet?
Why is he/she not moving here?
Please refer to the above reasons.
Why don't you move there?
Your reasons will be different, but I will treat my questioners honestly again. "My fiancé and I are not interested in living in India, my lifestyle and commitment to require me to live in the United States."
How does your family see you marrying a foreigner?
This must be one of the most attractive issues, and I believe that many people in cross-cultural relationships have experience. Why is my future spouse from which country? This is a personal choice, maybe my family is not racist. My favorite answer is: "They don't care."
I keep reminding myself that not everyone can master the concept of long-distance alien relations. Some people may be curious and don't realize that they may think it is very interfering or even rude. Then, some people seem to understand and contact me, I don't mind sharing the details about my relationship and the people I love.
Orignal From: Long distance relationship: intrusive problems
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