Tuesday, April 30, 2019

My husband said that our marriage is very miserable. He was trapped

Sometimes you will feel that your marriage is getting worse, but you want your things to be worse than it is now. Until your spouse says something that makes you unquestionable is correct. Sometimes your spouse will use extremely harmful adjectives, which will make you uncertain about how to respond or where to start. For example, "tragic", "no love" or "dead".

Someone might say, "I have always suspected that my husband is not happy in our marriage. Last night, we were arguing over a really irrelevant thing. It's just like a household chores. I'm still with me. Here, isn't it? This is a lot, because honestly, our marriage is very tragic, but we are all trapped inside, so we have to end it. I am really shocked that I don't think my husband is in our marriage. I am happy, but his words are very harsh. Because it helps? How can I respond? What happened to you? I don't know if he will tell me this because he just wants to get divorced, this is The way he fired the first shot, or did he really want me to take action. Maybe he just wanted to hurt me? But that's no reason to say what he did."

I think that if he really wants to hurt you, he might take action to start it for a while. He may have hinted that he was "stuck", but at least he did not plan to leave immediately. This way you have time to evaluate what you really want and how you want to respond. When you evaluate this, try to do this at your most objective time. What he said hurts you, so it's natural to let this kind of injury blur your decisions. But the important thing is that if you can put the damage aside, you will work very hard to ask yourself what you want. It sounds like you are all for your family, so I noticed that what you really want is a happy family, both parents are content with their marriage.

Considering your current position, this may sound stupid, but it's important to consider your final outcome. Then, ask yourself how to get to where you want from the current location. I am alive to prove that this is not impossible - even if you have a husband who claims to be "tragic." [My husband used this word many times.] Now that we are no longer separated, I have some after-the-fact ideas. I realize that what he really tried to tell me is that our marriage has changed dramatically and he is not happy [ At all] with these changes. When you receive a message at a face value, you must ask yourself the validity of the message.

There are some things you can't change - like you have to spend time with your kids and work. But there are other things you can definitely change, such as prioritizing intimacy and connections, and trying to improve the way you communicate with each other.

I know how you care about how to deal with or how to respond. As a person who has received this kind of harmful information and then separated before I save the marriage, this is my best suggestion: I will use this information as a call-to-action. If I redo all of this, I will read this message, as my husband said, "Hey, I need you to make some changes to really derail. No, these are not what he said, but this. That's what he meant. I hope my reaction is to treat myself and my marriage honestly and make the necessary changes immediately. On the contrary, I am angry and defensive. This is a natural reaction, but it does not [and does not] Help.

If I let it do it again, my reaction is to calmly ask him what is most troubled for him and what he wants to change. That would be better for us. So you may try something similar. "I am really sorry and sad to hear you say this. But I want to hear what you are saying. What is your most? What can we work together to solve?" "

Your husband may be surprised by the fact that you are doing such a direct conversation. It's ok. Because you can't start fixing it until you know that he is really broken. I know that his remarks have been hurt, but try to see that it is necessary to start and make the necessary changes that might make you happier.




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