Are you confused because you love your partner and don't like him or her? The following explanation of the differences can help you clearly understand why this is happening and improve your relationship.
First, we have four parts: mind, body, emotion, and spirit [higher self]. All your love falls in love unconditionally. This is a simple part of the relationship and it feels very good. What you experience in your heart is a deep and universal sense of deep concern.
However, as a human being, you also have a personality that consists of your thoughts, body and emotions. These parts have likes and dislikes. They are specific and can be changed.
For example, "I like that you are very good to me. When you leave your clothes on the floor and let me clean up, I don't like it.
Or, "I love you, when you yell at me, I don't like it. Please tell me your truth in a calm, caring way."
Please note that you express two different emotions. You can feel love and love at the same time. Can you talk?
When I was counseling for couples, I noticed that love is not the problem. All dislikes have prevented their love and caused their problems in their relationship. I first helped them communicate in a loving way, just like the example above. Then I taught them how to solve their problems with a win-win solution. I also help them understand and respect each other's differences.
One of the common problems is that our left brain [logical] or right brain [feeling] dominates. Most of the time, I noticed that logical people complain that their partner is too emotional and illogical.
John, a 34-year-old man, complained that his girlfriend Bonnie was irrational. At the second meeting, he said, "Heilin, I figured out how to not feel uneasy about her. I thought of the most extreme reaction, and then when she responded in this way, I was not surprised."
Conversely, people with right brain advantage often say, "My partner is so cold and uncertain."
These dislikes lead to many problems in the relationship. What I explain to customers is that the attraction of the opposites can help each other to be more balanced. For example, we all need logic to balance our checkbook. However, when we are close, we need to have our own feelings. It is important to be able to switch between the right and left brains based on the best part of the response in a particular situation.
In short, love is not enough. You need to like your partner too, and can safely tell him or her what you like and what you don't like, as shown above. Make a "I" statement and specify what you don't like. Then say what you want. Your partner needs feedback. Otherwise, you may be active [screaming] or passive. These actions will destroy your relationship.
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You can enjoy a loving, successful relationship that you deserve!
Orignal From: The importance of love, etc. in relationships
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