Tuesday, May 7, 2019

We are separated and my spouse has stopped wearing his wedding ring. What do I still mean to me?

One of the things that people who don't want to be separated from their spouse are trying to avoid is that they don't know how to answer the question. They often fear people asking them about their marital status or whether they want to get a divorce. They don't know the answers to these questions, they really don't want to think about them deeply, they don't even want to talk about them.

A symbol that puts these feelings and conflicts in focus is the wedding ring. Many people think that you should wear them. I am one of them. My opinion on this is that when you are separated, you are still married. Married people wear wedding rings. I think the reason for this separation of couples rather than divorce should be corresponding.

Not everyone agrees with me. Some people remove the ring immediately after declaring that they are separated or moved out. They feel that wearing it is not real, they don't want to pretend that things are not good.

This can lead to conflicts when the spouse has a different view of the topic. Someone might explain: "I didn't plan to take down my wedding ring, but my husband has already canceled him, which broke my heart. I don't think I am really married. I have already mentioned these things to him. But he said that I sometimes find him staring at me as if he wants him to let me take it off. I don't want to invite people to ask me why I don't wear it. I don't know how I will answer these questions anyway. Question. And, this is not a human thing. Wear a ring when you separate?"

I don't know what rules are there. Most couples decide this based on their feelings at the time. I understand why you are not happy. You feel that your husband doesn't want to wear a ring and is very convincing in terms of his intentions. You may be right, but I won't panic. People's feelings can change during the separation process. Moreover, not everyone will always wear a ring.

To be honest, even though my husband and I have been reconciled for a while, sometimes I don't wear a ring. This has nothing to do with my view of marriage. I did this for practical reasons, and in the long run, I will never have it. When I exercise, it sweats. When I cook, the food will enter. When I shower, there will be soap residue on it. So one day I will take it off. Sometimes I forgot to put it back. This of course does not mean that I am not a commitment to my husband, nor because I am looking for other men. Both are far from the truth and almost ridiculous.

I think my point is that not everyone who wears a ring has bad intentions, but you will know more about my husband's ring wearing habits than I do.

I don't know if you can force him to wear a ring. Of course he can't force you to take off you. I also think that the more you make a lot of decisions about this, the more he will not wear it, which may be what you don't want to happen.

Of course, every situation is different, but I suspect that the best way to act may be to express your disappointment so that you can understand what you feel and then move on to see what happens. As I said, people's feelings often change when they are separated. He may start to want to keep a little distance from you, but once he sees him as lonely, or once he realizes that he might have read the situation wrongly in some way, he may change his tone.

I know this hurts. However, if you focus all of your attention now on this, I think this may mislead your attention. The ring is a symbol of your marriage, but it is not your marriage itself. This is the most important thing at the moment. If you repeatedly ask a big question after you have told him what you are feeling, then you will focus on the secondary issue. And you want to focus on what really matters - try to rebuild. Yes, it is disturbing that he did not wear it. But there may be bigger problems to solve and more attention. In addition, he may be experimenting with the inability to wear a ring to make him feel. He may actually find that this is not a positive experience he imagined. And he might put it back, without having to make a fuss about it.




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