I recently heard a wife who was very troubled by the negative cycle in which she and her husband were involved. In a recent debate, the husband said that they might be better if they divorced. The wife suspected that he just threw it out in order to get a reaction from her. However, she is troubled by this, she has begun to explore some of the problems that cause most problems.
However, this seems to only make things worse, because every time she asks a question, this will be resolved in another dispute, and in turn, the husband will once again file a divorce talk. The wife told me: "We seem to have entered a very destructive cycle. Divorce [he knows I don't want it.] So, nothing has been solved, I think I have to tip around him to make me resentful. What to do. Every I tried to say it, we seem to repeat the same pattern, so that I never get any real reason."
I understand the frustration of my wife. This is a difficult situation, but history tells them that they will continue to repeat this until someone or something interrupts the process. Sometimes this means that a divorce has taken place. Moreover, at other times, this means that one of the spouses takes action to stop or interrupt the process. I will discuss this more in the following article.
Letting your husband understand the threat of divorce will only make things worse: from
Sometimes I will communicate with my husband in this situation. Many of them told me that they continue to make these threats because they are trying to get the attention of their wives. They hope to have some lasting changes. At this point, they usually don't know what to do or what to say to motivate change or improvement. Many of them admit to me that they feel guilty about using these threats, but they often tell them that they have tried many other things before and nothing else has worked.
If you are the wife at the end of the equation, it is important that your husband understands that his threat will only make the situation worse and more likely that no meaningful or positive changes will occur. . I often advise my wife to solve this problem directly when her husband starts the same predictable script.
An example might look like this: "Since you have mentioned this topic again, I want to discuss this with you. It prevents us from solving and solving real and potential problems. It keeps us from being happy together. I know that you may continue. Mention this, because you are trying to motivate improvement and change, and are not willing to work with you to achieve this goal, but you must know that your threat will only make the process more difficult. We have been apart for a while. It will enable us to solve our problems without letting us cloud the clouds. Let us change what we have been doing so that we can change the outcome."
Set it up so that you can see improvements and changes so that no one needs to mention ending the marriage: from
At the end of the day, if the couple can restore their relationship with a more harmonious relationship, although the party wants or needs to talk about ending the marriage. However, a very important thing that the wife needs to understand is that the process of "work" is very unfavorable to them. In fact, whenever they try to "work" their marriage, the result is controversy, and we all know the leadership there.
I asked my wife to consider postponing the problem and dragging it into the light. Now that there is so much tension and resentment in the family, I think it's best to try to reconnect and restore some harmony before they try to drag them out of trouble. Wives worry that this means they will never solve their problems, but I will forgive by delaying the process until they reconnect to some extent and they have a better chance of success.
When you try to solve a problem with resentment and anger, you don't actually invest in the process or income as you used to. Remember when you first got married, you can make up for it quickly, because you didn't want to do anything to hinder the fun you have? Although no one can count on you to revisit this time, you can often go back to a place where you have connections, investments and fun. This usually makes everyone easier and more enjoyable.
And because everyone is enjoying the process, it's easier to make changes. If the atmosphere is a climate of cooperation rather than separating the issues before they are ready, I think the wife will hear fewer threats.
Orignal From: My husband said that I want to divorce every time I argue.
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