Commitment is an interesting word. The first definition in the Encarta® World English Dictionary describes it as something that takes time or effort - not a very appealing proposition. The third definition says it is an unavoidable activity. Damn! The fifth definition refers to the act of imprisoning a mental health institution. No wonder the promise in relationships is so tricky!
Only the second definition can explain what we tend to be when a couple talks about a promise: dedication or dedication to a person or a relationship. So how do we use dedication and dedication as the cornerstone of our bonds through other possibilities?
Let us first look at the negative experience of "commitment": we lose energy, feel trapped, and may behave a bit crazy. How did we get there? Usually, it is done by handling things yourself. You know the exercise: Your wife is tempered at work, somehow, it feels like your fault. Your boyfriend is very nervous before the deadline, and you find yourself walking around your toes. Your lover hastily passed the coffee table and you apologize. After fighting again with your partner, you want to know if you are not good at this relationship.
We can be victims of personally photographing things on any stage, but it is especially hidden in love relationships. We know this person better than anyone else in the world, right? So of course we can tell them the impact of their actions or reactions on us. But in reality, we usually overestimate our own influence - in the process of doing so, we have sowed our own hesitant seeds. Responsible for their reactions, we exaggerated our importance and sense of responsibility, but at the same time, we created a claim of failure: why do we sign a passionate partner for every violent, every harmless event, every A failed communication must bear permanent responsibility or relationship barriers?
How do we get ourselves into this way of thinking? Ok, imagine the board meeting, all your worst insecurities come together to figure out how you should run your life. We call it the wrong board. They will tell you what you did wrong, you may fail, because others are laughing at you [or laughing at you], how suspicious or angry you should be. And they will insist that you have to do it yourself. They recognize that we need to understand that we are important, to know that we are to our loved ones [important to anyone] - let us fall into worries and worries. This drama creates an important hallucination, but it makes us real: do we really want to measure our meaning by whether our spouse feels uneasy today?
In fact, treating things as individuals to distort our ideas greatly exaggerates our fears that we fear the most, and leaves us endlessly distracted because we try to read meaning into irrelevant details.
The truth is: what your loved ones do has little to do with you. This is good news!
There are many things that affect the way any of us behave. This is our growth experience, our culture, our personality and our past experiences. There is a day in the day, a month and the influence of the stars. There is music we are listening to, the news we just heard, or whether we have a headache. [And, as everyone knows, this is not an exhaustive list!]
When we remember this, it's easier to remember why we are in this relationship first. It is possible that you have chosen an intimate relationship because of who you are with your partner - what is happening to them, motivating them, how they see and experience the world. If you don't personally take away someone you love, you will stop and ask a question: "What else can happen here?" Now you are no longer leaning against the wall, want to know how you entered this relationship, and Where is the nearest exit? Instead, you have already raised an important question about the person you care about.
Dedication is really interested in this answer. Dedication is an honest companion that listens, supports and challenges them where their reality meets your reality. From there, Commit has become easier.
Orignal From: Relationship advice for couples - Commitment is easier when we stop taking personal use
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